Good welcome, my dears, nice to see you once more.
This week, I have mostly been laughing - some giggles and some full on guffaws. One thing I do love is to have a good laugh and I, seen as unfortunate by some, don't hold back or chuckle politely. If you amuse me, I laugh loud and I laugh dirty. If it's really funny, I might even snort. If it's hilarious, I have been known to literally sob with laughter and if I go that far, I find it hard to stop.
The last time I snort-sobbed was when my puppy, who has a penchant for funny five minutes where he runs round and round in circles until he tuckers himself out, decided to run in circles, from one sofa to another and back. This time, he forgot to stop and shot right over the back of one of my sofas. Did I mention I have a wicked sense of humour?! He was alright, but I couldn't look at him for about an hour without giggling.
One of the funniest things I've ever seen in a film was the scene from Bridesmaids (if you've seen it and you enjoyed it, you know the one I'm going to talk about). I was home alone, my other half was working away, so I retired to bed to watch the film. It was the middle of summer, so all the bedroom windows were open and when I got to the point in the scene (think distinctly dodgy restaurant food followed by posh wedding dress trying on session followed) where the bride to be was on her knees in an VERY expensive wedding dress in the middle of a busy street, I couldn't breathe I was laughing so much. I was sobbing, I needed my inhaler and I just couldn't stop. Christ knows what my neighbours were thinking! I had the movie on pause for a good 20 minutes before I could start again. Did I tell you I also have a TOILET sense of humour?
So this week, let me share a few of my laughs with you. Last night, whilst tucking the Boy into bed, he was flicking through the TV channels and BBC One were showing Call the Midwife - a drama set in London's East End during the 1950s, based on the memoirs of Jennifer Worth. A newly qualified midwife begins her career alongside an order of nursing nuns.. This is the very short scene:
Midwife 1: "Mrs Lawson, we need you to start pushing."
Mrs Lawson: "No, it's too soon. I'm not ready."
Midwife 1: "Your body's telling you to push. Your baby wants to come out now."
Mrs Lawson: "I can't."
Midwife 2: "Please, Mrs Lawson, we're just trying to help you."
Mrs Lawson: "I can't have this baby."
Midwife 1: "Yes, you can, my love."
Mrs Lawson "I'm scared."
Midwife 2: "We're going to take good care of you, don't worry."
Mrs Lawson: "You don't understand."
Midwife 1: "What are you so afraid of, Mrs Lawson?"
Mrs Lawson: "I'm scared it's going to be black."
I laughed out loud at the last bit and the Boy looks at me as if I was crazy. I hastily changed the channel to Boomerang and left the room before he could ask me what I was laughing at. I wasn't sure I'd be able to explain in a politically correct way why it was funny!
Earlier in the week, whilst at work, one of my team received a call about a lost dog. We found out that the dog has been taken to a local vets and that the owner, on this occasion, could collect the dog rather than having to pay the animal welfare officer to return the pet to the owner. The animal welfare officer was tied up with another case and couldn't deal with an additional case.
The owner was an elderly woman and from the sounds of the conversation from our end, my colleague was speaking very loudly and telling the customer "I'm sorry, I really can't talk any louder." She was giving the customer instructions about where to collect the 8 month old beagle from and what she needed to do to ensure that her pet was microchipped and the back garden made safe. The conversation concluded with the customer saying she would collect her dog.
We accordingly updated our records and five minutes later, I received a phone call from a neighbour of the earlier customer. He told me that she was a bit confused and he wanted to check the details.
"Is she old and a bit deaf?" I asked the neighbour, thinking of how my colleague had practically had to shout down the phone.
"She could be, I suppose," he replied.
I was a little confused until I realised...
"I mean your neighbour, not the dog," I explained, trying desperately hard not to laugh.
We finished our conversation and I was finally able to have a giggle to myself. My team are used to me chuckling away to myself but they shared my hilarity on this one.
Did I tell you I love to laugh?